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“My name is Deb Hunt and I’ll be reading from the first chapter of Stalker.
Stalk a man when you’re 15 and he’ll be flattered, stalk him when you’re 50 and he’s likely to call the police. If I’m not careful I’ll be spending my 50th birthday behind bars.
I’m a peaceful vegetarian middle-aged spinster and I live alone in a remote West Country village. I have no children, no pets and no boyfriend. I’m a stalker. Don’t get me wrong I’m not crazy, I don’t hang around the gates of Buckingham Palace thinking Prince Charles is in love with me and I’ve never driven half way across America wearing a nappy so I didn’t have to stop for a toilet break in my bid to reach the man I love as quickly as possible. But I am a stalker and it’s got to stop.
Pass me on the street and you’ll see pursed lips, clenched teeth and a firm jaw, rigid as any right wing fundamentalist. That’s if you notice me at all. I’m the original Miss Prissy Knickers in sensible shoes, big pants and no make up. I think sex is a dirty word. My favourite word is no. Don’t, won’t, can’t, shan’t and mustn’t are all up there with it but nothing beats the simplicity of no; the absoluteness of it; the sound of a door slammed in your face. There’s no fun in my life, no second chance, no compassionate understanding, only retribution and self-righteousness. Love is for other people, if it exists at all, which I seriously doubt.
If I were a man I’d run away and join the Foreign Legion. I’d bury my stalking tendencies under a mound of sand, hide my shame under a natty hat with a flap on the back and volunteer for sentry duty in the dead of night so no one would see me cry. Since I’m not a man but a stalking middle-aged spinster (with a resume that would stand up in court as confirmation of multiple personality disorder) I’m going to run away to Australia instead.”
ABOUT DEB HUNT:
Deb Hunt is an actress, journalist and writer who has lived and worked in the UK and in Australia. She has performed on the South Bank with Shakespeare in the Park, at the Edinburgh Festival with Breach of the Piece and at New Theatre in Sydney. She is now based in Broken Hill where she is writing short stories and is searching for a publisher for a biography on Jane Lambert, one of the last people in England to contract polio. Wheelchair bound Jane Lambert embarked on a series of blind dates aged 65 and met the love of her life when she was 68. Deb Hunt is also putting the finishing touches on Stalker, a semi-autobiographical self help guide to how to stop stalking and start loving. She was the recipient of a Varuna scholarship in 2009.
“The three weeks I spent at Varuna were the most valuable three weeks of my writing career. Thank you to all at Varuna for providing such a magical space.” Deb Hunt
Work published in Sunday Telegraph, Body and Soul, House and Garden magazine and Esprit magazine.
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